Ashley Brown. Alyssa Edes. Jessica Pons for NPR hide caption. With online dating apps on mobile phones, it’s easier than ever to find new people — but that takes time. Filling out dating profiles, swiping through matches and going on dates can be all-consuming and frustrating. That’s how it felt for Kat McClain, a year-old attorney based in Los Angeles, who considers herself a long-time user of dating apps.
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Twenty matchmakers (11 Canadian, 9 American) were interviewed, representing regions across North America. Eighteen were women; 16 were.
Netflix launched in India in , but it took a while to warm up to homegrown commissions in a market that thrives on local fare. It didn’t help optics that content execs Swati Shetty and Simran Sethi opted to resign rather than be based in Mumbai. They were replaced eventually by Monica Shergill in , who joined existing director of originals Srishti Behl Arya. Amid all the restructuring, the streamer’s first Indian commission, ‘s “Sacred Games,” a hit for the service, was commissioned by Erik Barmack out of the U.
Over in India, Netflix — trailing behind turbocharged local streamers and global rival Amazon Prime Video — was trying to grow its customer base by trialling cheap subscriptions. Until, of course, “Indian Matchmaking” came along, aimed squarely at India and the Indian diaspora. Commissioned by Brandon Riegg, VP of nonfiction series and comedy specials at Netflix, the show revolves around Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia — who was also featured in “A Suitable Girl,” and was executive producer Mundhra’s own matchmaker — who arranges meetings between her clients with a view to getting them married.
The clients, all of Indian origin, are based in India or the U. Prior to filming, American reality vet Eli Holzman’s The Intellectual Property Corporation hired Indian line-production outfit Organised Chaos to sift through matrimonial advertisements in newspapers and matchmaking sites to select participants. Organised Chaos fixer Ricky Saxena contacted some matchmakers over late and early to shortlist them for the show, but Taparia remained their first preference because Mundhra was already familiar with her.
Throughout this process, the Netflix India office was not involved. It wasn’t a Netflix India Original. Inevitably, criticism followed, with the show being accused of not being inclusive enough, and promoting casteism. We’d be having too heavy a hand as producers if we said she has to do a match for an LGBT couple, or a Muslim couple etc.
People who are offended by ‘Indian Matchmaking’ prove its point
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As Sima and the show itself frequently remind us, arranged marriage is not quite the form of social control it used to be; everyone here.
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Does anyone go on blind dates anymore? I think the version of a blind date is when you connect with someone on one of the myriad online dating sites, you speak, you email and when you go to meet the person is unrecognizable from the picture that attracted you to them in the first place. You see — a blind date! Have you tried every dating site? Sick of JDate? Disgusted with Coffee and Bagels?
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Your spouse is just a set of qualifications to finally one-up your neighbours or your rival at work. Stagnant social mobility, casteist educational institutions and economic inequality glom together to create families, neighbourhoods, schools, colleges and work places where everyone has similar incomes and wealth, lifestyles, intellectual interests and ambitions. In other words, the metrics of compatibility all conspire towards upholding oppressive structures.
Practicing hyper-individuality to stand out on dating apps is disenchanting, having your personhood disregarded completely is no better. Marital rape is still legal in India. Disputes and murders over dowry are regular news items. There has to be more or something else, some of us think to ourselves as we contemplate the markers of adulthood, and this show flatly tells us, no.
How can you hate-watch that? She tweets at nehmatks. External Affairs.
Don’t settle: Woman in arranged marriage reflects on colorism, misogyny in ‘Indian Matchmaking’
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– Daily matchmaking with Matchmaker Willie Daly in his ‘office’ in the Matchmaker Bar. “Rural Ireland can be a lonely place. There’s a lot of lonely men, farmers left.
Ruchika Tulshyan was 22 when her mother started searching for her future husband. And she has mixed feelings — happy to see her experiences represented but forced to reflect on some hard truths about the way women are objectified within the system. I was disappointed, of course, there’s colorism, there’s casteism, there’s a lot of emphasis on traditional beauty. The show introduces us to a cast of Indian and Indian American men and women — including a single-minded lawyer from Houston, an appearance-obsessed jewelry designer from Mumbai and an outgoing dancer from New Jersey.
As a year-old who had already finished grad school and was on track for a successful career, Tulshyan was shocked to hear that her mom had listed her name and photograph on an Indian matchmaking website without her consent. Not only had she found her a man whom she deemed suitable, but she had already begun talking to his parents about an engagement. I pretty much knew that that was going to be the way things would be for me. Tulshyan has now been married for nearly nine years, and she now lives with her husband and 4-year-old son in Seattle.
The Netflix show is an unfiltered portrayal of the archaic structures that still surround marriages in India and for Indian families living in the U. Though discrimination based on this Hindu social hierarchy is now illegal, its influence is still pervasive in everyday life in India.
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Matchmaking is the process of matching two or more people together, usually for the purpose of marriage , but the word is also used in the context of sporting events such as boxing, in business, in online video games and in pairing organ donors. In some cultures, the role of the matchmaker was and is quite professionalised. The Ashkenazi Jewish shadchan , or the Hindu astrologer , were often thought to be essential advisors and also helped in finding right spouses as they had links and a relation of good faith with the families.
In cultures where arranged marriages were the rule, the astrologer often claimed that the stars sanctified matches that both parents approved of, making it quite difficult for the possibly-hesitant children to easily object — and also making it easy for the astrologer to collect his fee. Social dance , especially in frontier North America, the contra dance and square dance , has also been employed in matchmaking, usually informally.
However, when farming families were widely separated and kept all children on the farm working, marriage-age children could often only meet in church or in such mandated social events. Matchmakers, acting as formal chaperones or as self-employed ‘busybodies’ serving less clear social purposes, would attend such events and advise families of any burgeoning romances before they went too far.
The influence of such people in a culture that did not arrange marriages, and in which economic relationships e. It may be fair to say only that they were able to speed up, or slow down, relationships that were already forming. In this sense they were probably not distinguishable from relatives, rivals, or others with an interest. Clergy probably played a key role in most Western cultures, as they continue to do in modern ones, especially where they are the most trusted mediators in the society.
Matchmaking was certainly one of the peripheral functions of the village priest in Medieval Catholic society, as well as a Talmudic duty of rabbis in traditional Jewish communities.